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Previous: Heading Back for 2nd Semester |
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Important things happened during the second semester, too, and I guess I should tell you about some of them.
"How was your first day?" Bobbie set her books on the kitchen table.
Kristie looked up from her books. "Lots of homework already. But, good news, too."
"What kind?"
"Dan and I were in the department office, and we were both invited to apply for teacher's assistant work."
"That's great! How did it happen?"
"There was a PhD candidate who had the job last semester, but he decided to focus on his off-campus job and his thesis this semester."
"That sometimes happens, I guess."
"And the teacher remembered us co-leading study groups in the graduate classes last semester, so when he saw us in the office, he invited us to apply."
"Do you think you'll get it?"
"We'll find out tomorrow. I'm excited, but it's going to be a lot more work."
"Yeah, it will. But it's a great opportunity!"
*****
"Hey guys!"
Karel looked up from his books, spread out on the study area table. "Dan. Kristie! What's up?"
"We got the TA job. We get to work together on a couple of undergraduate classes this semester." Dan looked happy.
Bobbie did not look up. "Wonderful!" she said distractedly, and continued working on a diagram.
"We aren't going to have much time to play this semester." Kristie sounded a little sad.
Bobbie stopped to erase a section she didn't like. "We're grad students for real this semester. But we still have the folk dance class to have fun in."
Kristie asked, "Can we keep up the study groups?"
Karel turned back to the book he was reading. "We have to. It's what keeps us in the game."
Dan agreed. "Teaching others is the best way to make sure you understand things," he said as he sat down.
"And letting them explain it back is good review for everyone." Bobbie added.
"We'll squeeze some time in for something," Karel said distractedly as he turned a page. "All play and no work, hey?"
"I wish." Kristie sat down, too.
"Yeah. For sure."
"Amen."
"Now that I think of it, it would be nice," Karel leaned back and laughed.
*****
"I can't believe Professor Trilemma actually admits to expecting more than two chippu a day of study time for a religion class!" Kristie was not showing a happy face as they left the classroom.
(Okay, I'm really going to have to apologize for the professor's name. I'm sorry, see? Just had no other options. No hard feelings?)
"And the grading scale. The work has to show inspiration, in addition to being correct, to receive an A" Bobbie was a bit non-plussed, as well.
"Well, he didn't say that everyone would have to work that hard, just that some may. And he did point out that we still have time to drop the class." Karel was being blasé.
"He said, most. But we'll help each other, and Karel can always get inspiration for us!" Dan was joking again.
"Yeah!" Kristie was enthusiastic.
"Go, Karel!" Bobbie grinned.
"I don't think that's quite what he had in mind. But are we all okay about Discussions of Faith getting only a week?"
"That week's definitely going to be at least two chippu a day." Dan laughed.
Bobbie suggested, "We can study ahead."
"So we're not going to drop the class?"
"No way!" three voices chorused.
*****
During the second week of the semester, when Karel and Bobbie went to talk with their professors again, Melissa told them how things were going.
"We've been talking with your missionaries, and they're suggesting I get baptized."
Karel was apparently feeling blasé again. "That's not surprising, I guess."
Bobbie asked, "How do you feel about that?"
"I feel pretty good about it, really. The ministering couple are sitting in on the lessons, and we've been going through some of the teachings I grew up with -- you know, comparing my catechism with what Ehyephoottu believe."
Karel started paying attention. "I wonder if that's really a good idea."
"Well, they tell me how, in your church, instead of having hard rules handed down from the clergy, you usually pray and apply the principles you know and pray some more and see what feel the Holy Spirit is telling you is right. And sometimes you end up taking one approach and sometimes another. And what they say seems right to me."
"Well, great!" Bobbie enthused.
"I think it's pretty much the way I was brought up to believe we should do, but somehow as we get older we start depending on tradition and rules."
"Rules and traditions can be better than nothing," Karel suggested.
Bobbie gave Karel a slightly annoyed look.
"I think we just get lazy and quit asking," Melissa explained.
Bobbie gave Karel a triumphant look, which Karel returned with a mock moue and a duck of the head.
"But there's a little bit of a problem."
Bobbie and Karel quit challenging each other with their eyes and both turned to listen.
Karel asked, "What's that?"
"My husband wants to baptize me, but the bishop wants him to wait."
Bobbie said, "Well, that also happens sometimes."
And Karel added, "And then you have to decide whether you can help your husband more by being baptized first, or by giving him a reason to do whatever he needs to do to get ready to baptize you."
Bobbie looked at Karel and frowned. "You are treating this too lightly. Too blasé."
"Okay, I'll shut up."
"But that is basically what the ministering couple both suggest, that I should pray and decide for myself which way to go. And the bishop says it's up to me and Winn."
Bobbie opened her mouth to ask "What do you think?" but Karel beat her to it. And they challenged each other with their eyes again, grinning slightly.
"I'd kind of like him to baptize me. That's part of what I like about what you guys believe."
"That priesthood can be part of family life?" Bobbie asked, giving Karel a "Beat you to it!" look. Karel rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.
"Yes. Well, you two are having fun today."
Grinning, they said, "Sorry," in unison. Karel scratched his head embarrassedly.
"No problem. I've found myself having a little fun with Winn like this, too. It's like we read each other's minds sometimes." And she paused to think.
Bobbie nodded. "Being able to agree on what you believe really changes things."
And Karel agreed.
"Can I ask you guys a kind of personal question?"
"Should I leave?" Karel offered, standing up.
"No, actually, I'd like to hear both of your opinions, and I think I could get honest answers from you two."
"Okay, shoot." Karel sat back down.
"Uhm, ..."
Bobbie said, "Go ahead. Anything. We're feeling adventurous today."
"I can tell you are. Uhm, it has to do with, well, sex."
Karel said, "Ouch. Maybe I should leave after all," as he leaned forward to stand.
But Bobbie turned to him and said, "No need." Then she turned back. "Ask away."
Karel sat back somewhat resignedly.
"Maybe I shouldn't ask."
"It doesn't bother me. I'm not sure why it should bother Karel."
"Well, if you're sure. Is it okay with you, Karel?"
Bobbie was giving him a "Don't you dare run away from this!" look.
Karel looked quietly at the floor. "Well, errm, I guess it's okay, but suddenly I don't feel very adventurous after all. I don't know whether I'll have anything helpful to say."
"Don't worry about him. He'll be all right." Bobbie patted him on the knee.
Melissa looked from one to the other. She could see that Bobbie was open to talk, but she couldn't read Karel's expression. He didn't seem too unwilling to talk about it, so she decided to go ahead anyway. "Would you be worried, Bobbie, if your husband masturbated sometimes?"
And Bobbie answered, "I wouldn't think it's a problem."
Karel didn't say anything.
Bobbie asked, "Well, do you disagree, Karel?"
"Uhmm," Karel was feeling anything but comfortable. "It's not a simple question."
So Bobbie shrugged and said, "Oh, ignore him."
"Well, for instance," he continued, "reading, I mean, looking at pornography is not good. If it includes pornography, I would think that could be a problem."
Bobbie nodded.
"Playboy or that kind of thing?" Melissa asked.
(The word "playboy" is a direct translation. I guess it's no surprise that their world has such a magazine with essentially the same name.)
Karel took a deep breath before answering. "If a man looks at a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery with her in his heart." (You'll probably recognize the similarity to Matthew 5: 28.) "I'm pretty sure that covers pornography, too."
"When I met Winn, I knew he would sometimes read Playboy. I think he got it from a friend. But I told him I didn't want to feel like I had to compete with those air-brushed pictures of impossibly physically ideal women, and he promised he wouldn't look at it any more. I've never seen it in the house since we got married."
"That's good," Karel affirmed.
Bobbie nodded in agreement.
Karel added, "I think what you just said is a big part of the problem with pornography. The images are altered to match artificial ideals. It's sharing things that shouldn't be shared, and, to ease the discomfort people naturally feel, they airbrush out the individuality. So it ends up very similar to worshiping a false god. Or becoming fanatical about a false ideal. Nobody can compete with that."
"Nicely put, if wordy." Bobbie said with a smirk. Then she teasingly asked, "How is it that you know so much about this?"
"Uhm," Karel turned slightly pink. "Well, I guess I've thought about it a bit. A bit more than I think I wish I had. Sometimes football players bring stuff into the locker room, and you end up seeing things you wish you hadn't."
"Sorry." She looked away and sighed. "I shouldn't tease you about this." She turned back to Melissa. "But that isn't really your question, is it?"
"No. The bishop wants him to abstain for a month before he performs my baptism."
"Abstain from sex?" asked Bobbie.
"No, just doing it by himself."
Karel said, quietly, "I'm not sure Winn is going to be happy about being talked about like this behind his back. Some guys are kind of sensitive about it."
But Bobbie asked, "Is his abstaining from it going to cause problems for you?"
"I don't think so. I mean, I think I would rather he get a little relief by himself than pressure me for sex when I'm not interested. But I just wonder why it's a big deal."
Bobbie said, "I can't say I know why." Turning blithely again to Karel, she asked, "What do you think?"
Now he sighed. "It is my understanding that a guy who doesn't try to control himself is more likely to try to force someone else, for example."
"Hmm." Melissa had to think about that. "So it's kind of like emotional endurance training or something?"
Bobbie said, "I don't think that's guaranteed. I knew a bishop who was really strict with the young men in the quorums, and his son was one of the guys who couldn't keep his hands off of me."
"Ouch." was all Karel could say.
"Then this isn't a general rule?" Melissa was surprised.
"Which?" Karel asked.
"His son was definitely doing things he should have been taught not to do, if that's what you're asking." Bobbie replied to what she thought Melissa was asking.
Then Karel replied to his interpretation of her question. "A bishop is responsible for getting revelation on how to interpret many parts of Church policy for specific individual situations. Sometimes bishops get it wrong, and sometimes members of their congregations suffer for it. But that's also part of what Jesus' atonement helps us with. Otherwise, we could never dare take part in the burden of the Church. God would have to do it all."
Bobbie lips drew tight, but she kept her thoughts to herself for the moment.
"Not a general rule ..." Melissa wanted a bit of confirmation.
"Not exactly," Karel nodded and continued. "The youth are taught not to neck and pet, but not so much attention is given to masturbation. Maybe your bishop thinks your husband needs to develop some personal strength through this. It might help him have the courage to talk with you about sex. And not just joke or make demands, if he tends to do that."
(What he describes is fairly closely parallel to how things were in our world back in the comparable time. It's a little different in our present world, in no small part because, in our world, sex has become so thoroughly blown out of proportion in mainstream society that it's almost a separate religion in itself.)
"Maybe I can see that. Up until now, we just really haven't talked about sex very much, just left it up to our moods." She smiled a little shyly. "Maybe we need to talk about it more." Then she apologized. "I shouldn't have asked you guys about this."
"It's okay." Karel said.
And Bobbie added, "Yeah. What we think doesn't really matter. What matters is what you and Winn and God think."
"And your bishop. He's supposed to be able to help you help each other, and help you figure out what God wants."
Bobbie lips pursed and her face clouded, but, again, she kept her own counsel.
Nobody had anything else to say, and the silence dragged out just a moment.
"Did someone forget to turn on the heat today?" Professor White asked at the door. "This room feels a little cool."
"Don't give up. Talk with Winn about it and do what you think is right." Bobbie said as she stood up to leave.
And Karel nodded as he stood and followed her out. "Hang in there. And pray about it."
*****
After talking with their professors, Karel and Bobbie walked to the library to meet Dan and Kristie. But there was a palpable wall between them.
As they approached the quad, Bobby said, "I didn't think you were a Pharisee."
"Huh? What did I say?"
"Not entering in yourself, and keeping others who would enter in from doing so. Or something like that."
"Uhm, taking away the key of knowledge." (We can find such a scripture towards the end of Luke 11.) "But we don't know that their bishop is doing that. He may have good reason for wanting her husband to practice a little self-control."
"That son of a bishop ..."
"Mmm ... so he wasn't a very nice guy."
"No, he wasn't."
"Tell me about him?"
"Well, I knew I shouldn't have been making out with him, but I thought he'd know where to draw the line."
"He tried to get more than you wanted to give."
"He said he was going to lose control, and he wasn't allowed to do it by himself, and when I refused to 'help him', as he put it, he threatened to tell his father I was trying to make him disobey the law of chastity."
"Oh, man. Badly, badly confused. Did he use physical force?"
"Not exactly. Eventually, he gave up and drove me home."
"So he tried using emotional force, but gave in. Very small point in his favor. Did you talk to his father?"
"His father called me in to the bishop's office and asked me to tell my version of things, so I did. And then he disfellowshipped me. Said I had tried to seduce his son."
"Oh, ..." Karel winced and searched for words. "Ouch. Crud. I mean, woops. Sorry to swear."
"Say 'shit' if you mean 'shit'."
"Crud has a little broader use, although I probably should have said, 'What a terrible mess.'"
"If you had said that, I wouldn't have believed you meant it."
Karel grimaced. "Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about it. It's too late to make much difference now, but did you take it to the stake president?" (Again, borrowing a term from the similar office in Mormondom, the stake president is the lay clergy who has presiding authority for the stake.)
"Nobody told me I could. But that guy's dad was released from being bishop about three months later, and he ended up excommunicated. Apparently he couldn't keep his own hands off of one of my friends, either. Like son, like father. I don't hold it against the Church, but my father did for quite a while."
"I'm sure that didn't help the congregation, either."
"The next bishop called me in practically immediately after he was called. Said he had reviewed all the records and asked to hear my side of things. I told him, and he apologized and made sure the whole disfellowshipment thing was cleared from my Church records."
"I'm glad to hear that."
"And the congregation quit being so Pharisaical after that. Trials with blessings, I guess. Eventually my father quit complaining about it, but I think it still bugs him."
"What happened to their family?"
"They joined an Immersion Covenantist church, and raised a fuss about evil Ehyephoots."
"That's too bad."
"Yeah. But they were only welcomed there until the members of that church figured out what was going on. After about a year of warnings, they asked them to find another church to attend. I heard he and his wife divorced about then."
"It's too bad he wouldn't repent. Must have been hard on their congregation, too."
"At first, but, like I said, we recovered. And it actually helped relationships with all the churches in the community. Members of that church and ours had to
talk about the problems that man and his son were causing, and we ended up
making a lot of friends. And when we became more friendly, other churches seemed to join in. And they warmed up to us participating in a lot of
community activities -- Scouting, Lion's Service Club, volunteering at the
hospital, .... I think things in the community just got a lot better after
that." (Again, borrowing terms with parallel meanings from our world.) "God moves in a mysterious way, and all that."
"It's good that a lot of things worked out okay. Do you ever hear how things are going with their family?"
"His wife never remarried. Refuses to trust men. But he and his son started their own church in another town and regularly publish anti-Ehyephoot stuff that most people just find amusing, or just ignore."
"That's too bad." Karel paused. "But it's good that you can talk about it like this."
"I learned somewhere along the line that I had to just let it go and forgive him, or it would tear me apart."
Karel nodded. "Better to let things like that go." He paused again. "I still don't think trying to exercise self control is a bad idea."
"I can't argue with self-control, but those are powerful forces. Innocent people can get hurt."
Karel didn't know what else to say, so he said nothing for a while. As they entered the library, he finally said, "I think we're going to have to agree to disagree about this."
"Fine by me."
*****
Towards the end of January, the four of them were walking to the gym for the folk dance class, and Dan said, "Let's go snowshoeing this Saturday."
"Can we rent snowshoes?" Kristie asked.
"Same place we rented the skis."
Bobbie said, "Well, you two go ahead. I have a date for Saturday."
"Karel!" Dan exclaimed, giving him a nudge.
"Uhm, I have a date, too. I'm taking the sister of one of the guys in the dorm to the art museum. She's an engineering student."
Kristie exclaimed, "Bobbie?"
"One of the students in the class I'm TA-ing for wouldn't take no for an answer. He's not really my type. But, I guess, if I'm going to meet other guys on campus, I have to start somewhere. He found out I have the master's in dance, so he asked me to a modern dance performance."
Dan and Kristie looked at Karel and Bobbie with an expression like they were traitors.
Bobbie said, "I have to do this."
And Karel said, "Bobbie needs our support. Besides, if we're supposed to be patient, maybe we should all still be hanging around with other people, too."
Kristie said, "Dan, you and Karel go ahead without us. I need to talk with Bobbie."
Dan looked at Karel, and Karel shrugged. "Okay." And they went in ahead of the girls.
"What are you doing?" Kristie didn't hide the urgency in her voice.
"What do you mean?"
"I know that there are no guys better for either of us than Karel and Dan. What is happening here?"
"For you, maybe. And maybe just now. I'm not getting that answer for myself."
Kristie looked at Bobbie, but she would not meet her eyes.
"Bobbie, if you're still worried about what I said last fall, about taking Karel away from me, please, don't worry about it. I was feeling insecure then. Hanging around together has, well, shown me that I don't need to be insecure."
"Maybe that's all God wants of us. To learn we don't have to be scared of people when He is our Friend."
"I know I can't receive revelation for you, but I don't believe it. We weren't meant to be broken up."
"But that doesn't mean we have to get together. I mean, seriously. Four-way marriage sure isn't allowed."
"Don't joke about this. Don't run away from happiness."
"I'm not. But I need room. For now." Bobbie looked up with pleading in her eyes.
"Well, ..." As they met each others' eyes, something passed between them that you and I would not be able to put into words. "... it's not like I really can tell you what to do. But if you need to talk, remember, I can be here for you just like you've been here for me."
"Thanks."
And they exchanged hesitant smiles and hugged each other and went inside the gym.
While it was easy, it was easy.
| Table of Contents | Next: Dating Others |
You can find the original first draft of the chapter this chapter was
extracted from, and various approaches I have tried with it here: https://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/07/economics-101-novel-ch06-pt1-second.html.
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